The hardest part they neglect to tell you about

I know that there are many things about travel (especially long term travel) that are difficult. Burnout, homesickness, and culture shock, just to name a few. But there is one thing that is often overlooked, even by seasoned travellers; saying goodbye.

I think the thing I always block out of my mind is how much saying goodbye to people really blows, big time. Maybe it’s just me. I’ve never been really any good with goodbyes. I distinctly remember many summers where I would threaten to chain myself to something at summer camp, just so I didn’t have to say goodbye to it. I have clearly not gotten much better.

In the city, it takes me ages to leave an event because I say good bye for hours. People have learnt this by now, and have taken to telling me we’re leaving hours before they actually want to leave. It turns out I’m not much better at goodbyes while I travel.

Someone told me the other day that some travel advice they had been given was to not get to attached to anyone. I personally think that is a load of garbage. How are you supposed to meet people and enjoy that major aspect of backpacking if you are always a little standoffish. I’m not saying become best friends with everyone, because some people are meant to come into your travels only for a short amount of time. But some people are meant to leave a lasting impression, to shape you in one way or another, and to break your heart a little, just enough that it can reform when you do get to see them again.

I personally think that you should experience the grief of leaving behind those that have become family, and really let yourself feel it. If you need to sit in a bus and cry, do it. We’ve all been there, and will all likely be there again. You’ve shared an incredibly important part of your experience with these people, and whether you spent 3 weeks living and working with them in the jungle, or met them in a hostel and went on to travel with them for a hike, a few days, or for weeks, they are forever a part of your journey.

The best part about the worst part is that in saying goodbye, you are actually just saying I will see you at some point in the future when our paths are meant to cross again. Perhaps it will be chance that you run into them months later and have a joyful and unexpected reunion, or perhaps you will plan to meet them in their home town or yours. Either way, the experiences that will come out of the reunions are often well worth the heartache of goodbye.

Even if you don’t see them again, you will think back fondly on the days, hours or weeks you spent together. They are forever linked to you, and so you can never really say goodbye.

So for all those times I have tearfully said goodbye, vowing to never say goodbye again, or those times that I slinked off, knowing that the goodbye could be left unspoken, I will keep those people in my heart as I journey forth.